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a state (Kentucky) of disconnect [May. 8th, 2006|08:41 pm]
tit_tays
[Current Music |Agorophobic Nosebleed]

I spent most of today with my grandmother. I don’t see her all that often, though more so now that she moved from Arizona to Kentucky, right across the river from my aunt in Cincinnati.

I’ve been feeling very disconnected. It started last night. Or at least I started noticing it last night. I was thinking about how many people Bethy knows in Bloomington, how well connected she is there, and to the city itself. I have nothing like that. I lived all my life in the same two houses and yet I barely even know who my neighbors are (except the creepy Pakistani dude who kept trying to hire me to mow his lawn and won’t wear a goddamn shirt over his spotty, sunken chest). The only places I’m recognized are where I’ve been employed: the health food store, the vet, the deli. I love DC but I really know so little about it, none of the secret histories or even the best places to hang out. And it’s really too late to start getting to know my hometowns now that I’m ready to make a go at life on my own clear across the country. It’s taken me 20 years to forge the connection I have with DC; we’ll see what eight weeks in Portland does. So all in all it’s felt like I’m adrift in the sea that is America and the world, subsiding on a raft made from washtubs, lumber and bed sheets, out-sailed by speedboat families and cruise liner cities. I’m paddling along, and I’m going to make it, but with only one oar and no compass I’m just going in circles and not even knowing it.

But before we left I sat down with my aunt and my grandmother and we looked at my great-grandmother’s photo album. I’d never seen or heard of these people before, but as we went through I learned about my great-grandmother, and my great-great-grandmother, and my great-uncle who fought in WWI (319th Infantry), and my great-grandfather (who my great-grandmother chose over Leland Heywood, a famous Hollywood producer). I may be disconnected now, but these people, these dead relatives feel a school of dolphins lashed to my raft pulling it across America to whatever island we’re all headed to, the island of success and comfort, the island of a worthwhile life.

Also, Fruit Bats: great band, and Southgate House in Newport, KY: awesome venue.
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That guy has his dick nailed to something [Jan. 12th, 2006|04:19 pm]
tit_tays
[Current Mood |chipperanguished]
[Current Music |"Ike's Rap" -Isaac Hayes]

Bitch why you be doin' so much crack?
I can't even watch the Beverly Hills Cop
Cuz you done took the VCR


Please come back to me, baby.
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